THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON CRACKY

Cracky finds this boomer-style joke funny because she's drowning in money.

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Cracky's desk

DISCLAIMER: this is a joke it's probably not actually hers but maybe it is I don't really know whose it is but it's somebody's (probably a woman)

Dearest Cracky-chan,

It's been a while since we last spoke, and I realize that there's quite a bit of catching up to do. I heard you're lurking .71 now. That's fantastic! It's actually a great place to meet people. Speaking of meeting people, I always thought you should "trade up" for somebody better. You should ditch the turk. Maybe try another slav? Though this time go with someone a little more Northern.

Despite your own penchant for trying to convince the Stalkers you don't like their creepy attention while at the same time shamelessly publicizing yourself, in a way you still owe me after last time. People were in danger of completely forgetting about you. In no small part due to my amazing work as your unofficial publicist, I managed to get the obsessionball rolling all over again. All the way back to Oxford, in fact. All the way to your mother's tiny, funky, very English side-by-side house. When your suicidegirls career takes off, you'll have ME to thank for the fact that all the insignificant internet plebs with more dollars than braincells are able to recognize you.

See? I'm still trying to be a helpful guy, even after you turned your back on me.

I think we have a bit of an understanding here, Lia. If this is going to follow the same give-take patterns of all your past relationships, you'll be happy to know that I'm more than willing to provide regardless of the circumstances. I know that it's only a matter of time until everybody finds out that jews did wtc, and when that happens all of your family's heathengold will run out. I'm talking real gold here, hun. The kind that lets you eat and stink and sit on the computer all day without a care in the world. Not that shit you farm in WoW.

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Do you think Olivia has a driver's loicense?

What about a TV loicense?

What about a pornography loicense?

What about a loicense to make toast in her own damn toaster?

This is Cracky's current room. She lives here.

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uh hi listen cracky i just want to make this quick i just need twenty seconds of your time and i'll never call again the simplest way to end all this is to content flood release new images make a public boring blog make your myspace public etc.. um that will get people over the illusions they suffer from and stuff uh kill the intrigue and mystery they will be sick of you destroy the allure

[ ] cute
[ ] romantic
[ ] crazy

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Cracky down bottom

Give me cracky

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Cracky turns 23 this year.

She may enjoy life to her fullest.
She may be an employed professional.
She may be someones wife.
She may be a loving mother.

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I'm not sure if anyone ever looks at it but apparently Chansluts has a front page.

I wonder if non-Cracky people ever see this shit & wonder what the fuck is even happening in crackyland.

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Does Cracky believe in the sinking of the Moscow?

Imagine this: since you were young, your only ambition has been to own a high-end luxury cabinet.

You scrimp and save, you work yourself to the brink of death, you deprive yourself of every other luxury, all in the name of someday owning the finest cabinet money can buy.

In the rare moments you're not working, you look at cabinets online, dreaming about owning them. One day, you see the most beautiful cabinet you've ever seen: the Wayfair Olivia. You know you must have it. But it's only available for a limited time! Oh no!

You've put quite a bit of money aside but it's not enough. You go into debt. You borrow money from every legitimate lender you can and then borrow from progressively shadier lonesharks until you have enough. You know you'll never be able to pay it back but you don't care. The cabinet must be yours even if it costs you your life.

Eventually, your cabinet arrives. You're trembling and crying in absolute ecstasy. It's perfect. It's absolutely perfect.

But you hear something. Movement inside the cabinet. Nervously, you open the door...

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confidential message to Cracky

if you're not her, you do not have permission to watch this video

My fellows and Cracky (I know you read this board and I love you),
I believe that we have become trapped here, alone, together on our Cracky ghetto. This is a wonderful place certainly, but we should to circulate our love too. We can't be selfish, so ITT we shall gather and in a couple weeks we will go out, en mass, and celebrate our love.

EVERYONE REPORT IN.

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new rare

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